Friday, January 13, 2006:
i realised something today during worship at cell. you know, God has been gracious all along. God has provided me with a great family (even though we have a mighty lot of conflicts, but at least that goes to show we care for each other) and supportive friends (who i can share stuff with, and know that they will be there for me and trust me at the end of the day) and for giving me life (even though i think my life isnt that great, God has a purpose for my life, so thats the bonus. and i bet its not as bad as i think it is). and even though i may stray away, He still will forgive me, as long as i repent and ask Him. God hears my prayers alright. and thought He might take a while to reply and answer them, its all in perfect and good time.
so whatever i'm facing now, nothing is too great for My God to handle. and yes.
i will live to love Youi will live to bring You praisei will live a child in awe of Youand i do want to learn to live like mary, not martha, and have a childlike faith in Jesus. i want to be sitting at His feet listening to every word He has to say to me. and i want to come to bask in the joy of just being in His presence. i remember a friend said once, that the great thing about dying and going to heaven is the ability to just be in God's presence, but he wasnt able to fanthom how great that will be. and i'm sure it will be great. and at the end of the day, i do want to go to heaven. and my one way ticket? to love him. love him, and everything will fall into place. thats true isnt it?
you know. this is the major turning point of my life. the next step is a really giant leap. and i still dont know if i'm ready for it. i mean, come on! its australia. out of my comfort zone, distancing myself from the close network of friends, away from the support group that i have even! whats in it for me besides a TEE cert? like, whats wrong with an A level cert? i can do it. (i think) but i guess in the end, i must believe that God has a greater purpose for my life, and His plan is always bigger and He does know more! so i'm sure i'll be fine, and God will continue to be gracious to me. i have nothing to worry about. right?
life is interesting. in both good ways and bad. but no matter what, i'm going to let God be in control. and Amen to that. (:
a shout of praise.
11:22 PM